UNMASKED: Snippets & notes from a lifetime collection of journals (pre-diagnosis).
Advocating for autistic acceptance.
June 20, 1994
How helpless I felt in [old classmate’s] presence, for what could I say, do? … clearly it should have been I to approach her – she appeared uncertain. Though that’s not to say I didn’t! I smiled supportingly, I hope, and grew flustered as the thought of conversation arose in my mind.
Kalpita Pathak
Age 19
COMMENTARY:
😭 This entry is heartbreakingly sad and yet also kind of funny (in hindsight, I should add). 😂
The sheer amount of energy going into greeting an old classmate. 😲 It was unexpected thus I didn’t have a prepared script. Just my constant analysis of every expression, every unwritten rule, my own anxiety … no wonder socializing is so exhausting! 🥱💤😪