UNMASKED: Snippets & notes from a lifetime collection of journals  (pre-diagnosis).
Advocating for autistic acceptance.




August 8, 1994


I just wrote a million letters, which makes me feel somewhat productive, though now I am rather behind on my work (surprise, surprise).


Kalpita Pathak

Age 19


Who knew – autistic people can be hyperbolic!


Unless I actually wrote a million letters. But I don’t even know a million people to write letters to!


Now, I *could* write a million letters of the alphabet. If I wrote about 300 pages of text, I could possibly hit a million ABCs. Yes, I did the calculations – I am that kind of autistic.


I collected stationary, pens, stickers, address books, because I loved the art of writing letters.


I can hyperfocus on a special interest for literal days. Before cell phones and their multiple alarms, I would forget to eat, sleep, hydrate, go to the bathroom, go to class, keep appointments …


I am sad to read the self-beration in this journal entry. The idea that I am not being productive enough, that I am not doing what I’m supposed to be.


I realize now that special interests are healing, rejuvenating.

What I hope is that you give yourselves space for your special interests, that NT expectations don’t drain your time and energy, and that you find the time you need to accomplish your goals.