UNMASKED: Snippets & notes from a lifetime collection of journals (pre-diagnosis).
Advocating for autistic acceptance.
TW: REFERENCES TO SUICIDE
September 26, 1993
I would like to emphasize just how much I love life and how low I must have been to actually have felt that way. I have clinical recollection [of the attempt] but in no way can I emotionally recall the feelings & thoughts. Hmmm.
“To be nobody but yourself – in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else – means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.” – E.E. Cummings
I wrote this at 18, less than one month into my freshman year of college. This was not my first nor my last time thinking it would be better if I were dead.
Autistic people have a significantly higher rate of suicide and suicide attempts.
If you are autistic: You are not a burden. You are not a waste of space. You do not deserve to die. You are not alone in this world – you are a valued member of this community.
If you want to be an ally: Support begins with acceptance. Learn from autistic advocates; we have insight and a willingness to share vulnerable moments to help make the world a safer and more inclusive place. You may never fully understand us but you can believe our experiences as valid.
Please follow this link for suicide hotlines in your country: Suicide Stop
Whatever you do, be gentle with yourself. – Sanober Khan